100 Days

Yesterday marked 100 days since Deck passed.

100 days that BOTH feels like a lifetime ago and at the same time, feels like it just happened yesterday.

Since Deck passed, I pray every day at around 3:22 PM, at the time of his death, and I ask for 2 things.

One, that my brother be accepted in God’s loving embrace.

Two, that the pain of my parents and sister-in-law Jacky be appeased which is beyond anything I can do but can only be made possible with God’s grace.

I’ve always believed our lives are within our control, but only up to a point.   I believe we need to take action and use the gifts God gives us to steer our lives.

However, we cannot control everything in our lives.  At some point, we need to let go, and let God take the wheel where we cannot steer or perhaps even see or envision where we are headed.

In times of hardship with things that are beyond our control the Serenity Prayer takes on a heightened significance.

God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Reinhold Niebuhr

THIS is one such moment.

Nothing I can do can change this painful reality.  Nothing about what happened is within our control.  All I can ask for now is much needed grace for my family.

It’s been 100 days.  For the most part, it feels like God answers my prayers.

When I see photos like this, I KNOW God’s grace is there.


To see my dad laugh and see the pink return to his face.

To see my mom giggle.

To see my sister-in-law smile.

The ability to find joy in the midst of grief.  That’s Grace.  That’s the only thing it could be.

Thank you for showing us there’s light at the end of this tunnel.  Thank you for giving us people – friends and family – in our lives that help us find joy.  Thank you for letting rays of light shine through in the darkness.


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