My Daughter’s First Hurdle: Rejection by a “Friend”

Wallclimbing on Royal Carribean's Voyager of the Seas

Taken before we made the attempt to wall-climb.

My daughter was so excited because her friends started a clan on the popular online game Clash of Clans.  She was using her dad’s “village” and was eagerly donating troops to her friends.  She was eagerly talking about it in the car and when we got home she made a beeline for the iPad eager to play with her friends.

Only to find she was not just kicked out of the clan but banned by one of her closest friends.

It didn’t come as a complete surprise.  C has been wondering aloud for the past few weeks why this “friend” of hers hasn’t been chatting with her lately despite her efforts.

My heart broke a little for my baby girl.  This girl who apparently wanted her out of their “clan” was at our house regularly during the last school year, making our house a hangout if her parents fetched her late.  She even joined us in family dinners and a swimming outing.

I wanted to hug C and inside, I was raging for her.  The bullied little girl that still lives inside me wanted to cry for her.  The adult part of me wanted to kick this “friend’s” butt.

However, I knew that I had to let her deal with it herself.  All I did was ask if she was okay.  That’s all I COULD do.

My daughter is made of stronger stuff than I.  Although she showed subtle signs of hurt, she acted nonchalant and brushed it off as a learning.  She immediately put her brave face on and staunchly said “It’s okay, I don’t need her to be happy.”

Hubby S had a light (bordering on funny) conversation with her about friendships.  The message was simple though.

He told her that this is just a first lesson of many that not all friends will always be true.  He told her she shouldn’t get mad at this girl, as she has nothing to gain from being angry but she should be careful and guarded when dealing with this person from now on.

Two days have passed, my daughter shows no outward signs of dwelling on this unpleasant experience.  She is still happy and active, busy with her summer activities.  She is still exuberant and laughs loudly with us during family conversations.  We never talked about it again.

This is a reminder for me that even though I would want to, I can’t protect her from everything.  Some hurdles are for her to take on her own and she will be a better person because of it.

This also reminds me that I need not worry.  She is strong and confident and built with a core of steel. Rejection may hurt her but it won’t stop her in her tracks.

My baby girl is growing up.

It’s time for this mama bear to retreat back into her cave and just be ready with open arms in case baby bear needs a hug.


7 thoughts on “My Daughter’s First Hurdle: Rejection by a “Friend”

  1. Your daughter sounds like an amazing kid! You’ve obviously taught her right but I can understand the hurt that you felt for her. Although my daughter is a toddler, I’m sure when she gets older and starts having friends, something like this will happen. We want to protect our children as much as possible. Thank you for sharing!


  2. Two things I got from this…

    “eagerly donating troops to her friends” ==> Generous just like her parents! Good job, S and J!

    “It’s okay, I don’t need her to be happy.” ==> This blew my mind. Can you please remind me how old C is? I’ve talked to adults who took a long time to utter these words… and needed more time to actually live it! Kudos to C!


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