Sorrow and Loss to a 9 year old

My husband’s beloved grandmother passed away a few days ago… she was 87 and had lived a full life filled with love and family.  She lived long enough to see her great-grandchildren.  Nevertheless, her passing was a huge blow for all who love her.  She was a very loving, sweet and caring person.  She always thought of others before herself.

My children knew that she was sick and she was in the hospital.  They would ask every few days why her  Tai-Ma hasn’t come home yet and at night, we would pray for her health.

However, when I broke the news to my daughter, 9, that her Tai-ma had passed away, she exclaimed “What?!” and then promptly broke down into huge, heaving, body-shaking tears.  I hugged her, whispering “it’s okay”  so that she can slowly calm down.  My son, 5, was still oblivious but my daughter obviously already knew the implications.  She calmed down enough to say she was going to miss her Tai-Ma then broke down crying again.  Throughout the night, she kept breaking down in tears in between questions about death like “Is Tai-Ma going to heaven?” and “Will Tai-Ma hear me in my prayers?” and “Does Tai-Ma know that I love her?”.  It was heart-wrenching for me to see my child go through the pain and sorrow of loss.  I broke down in tears myself watching her mourn.

She still sometimes looks teary eyed and pensive now but she has gotten over the initial shock and pain of loss.

Death is always hardest for the people who are left behind.

To Ahma:  Everyone misses you terribly.  I’m so glad my kids have had the chance to get to know you.


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